Star vs the forces of Gravity
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Star is excited! She has a long-lost cousin! Wendy is terrified! She just wants to not die! IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!
1. Chapter 1

**Star V.S. The forces of gravity**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

 **KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!**

"I'm coming! I'm Coming!" Shouts an irritated Wendy as she drags herself out of bed at 3 in the morning and heads to front door.

She opens the door to see a weird blond girl and a kid with a red hoodie standing behind her.

"Hello cousin! My names Star Butterfly! And I'm a magical Princess from another dimension!" She shouts as she waves a wand to create a rainbow...that immediately spontaneously combusts...

Wendy says nothing. She calmly closes the door, walks to the phone, and calls the police...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**Star V.S. The forces of gravity ch.2**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

"Wait, so she really is my cousin!?" Exclaimed Wendy in disbelief. They were currently driving away from the police station, her dad having just bailed Star and Marco from jail. Dan sighed. "Yes...But before you ask me anything. I've been sworn to secrecy about anything involving your mothers past in Mewney."

Star nodded. "Yeah, I noticed that." It's like my mom wanted to erase your mom from history! I only found out about her because Glossary mentioned her by accident."

HEY! Shouts a weird tiny Genie that flies up from Stars book. "Exnay on emay pillingsay the eansbay!" He shouts frantically in pig latin. Wendy grows deathly pale at the sight of this. "Right...well I'm pretty sure I need to go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING!" She exclaims deeply conflicted. Marco sighs. "Welcome to my world!"...

…...

While Dan went into the house to prepare a guest room. Wendy...'contemplated' her cousin. Putting aside the whole 'Magic is real, my reality has completely flip-flopped. Also possibly even my own sanity' thing...she seem like an okay girl...a bit weird and ditzy...but okay...maybe it wouldn't be so-

 **ZAP!**

Suddenly a massive portal opens spewing out a bunch of monsters. "Star Butterfly! Hand me the wand!" Shouts a diminutive monster who seemed to(somehow) be the leader. "In your dreams Ludo!" Shouts Star as she and Marco spring into action!

 **NAREWHALE BLAST!**

Wendy just gaped in amazement at the ludicrous sight that played out before her. "Come on, cousin! Join the fun!" Shouts an excitable Star as she blasts monsters.

That's when a nearby ax caught Wendy's eye. She just stared at it for a minute...Then she shrugged. "Well, when in Rome. I guess." She states out loud as she grabs the ax and joins the fight. And surprisingly...she has a good time!

"Bet you five bucks I can whack 5 of these guys in one smack!" She found herself shouting, among other things-

 **BOOM!**

Wendy watched in amazement as a bull monster crashed out of her house and sent the few remaining monsters flying...but that wasn't the amazing part-

Dad? She squeaked, recognizing that ugly beard from anywhere. The monster rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Riiiight...so I'm a 'Mini-toaur'...and your half that technically...so that's a thing." He admitted awkwardly.

It should come to no one's surprise that Wendy faints...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

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	3. Chapter 3

**Star V.S. The forces of gravity ch.3**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

 **-and so began the Tale of Star and Wendy...But you don't care about that!**

 **And why should you! This is a gravity falls tale, all you care about is the mystery shack!**

 **So let's just skip forward a bit shall we?**

 **(FF)**

Wow! Cries out Star as she flips the light switch on and off again-

 **(FF)**

 **STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE THE AMAZING MAGIC GIRL!**

Shouts Stan as Star begins to her first day of work alongside Wendy.

 **(FF)**

"I need to fix Stan up." "No." Said Marco and Star together.

 **(FF)**

"I'm taking this out of your paycheck young lady!" Screams Stan as he's chased by a troll Lazy Susan.

 **(FF)**

 **Alright! were finally at the part were the twins come to the mystery shack and Dipper finds the journal- BORED NOW!**

 **These scenes been done to death! Let's go to something more exciting!**

 **(FF)**

"Tell us where Mabel is, or this will get worse!" Demanded Jeff the gnome king. Tied to a chair Marco helplessly screamed in agony. "STOP! NO MORE! PLEASE!" Dipper, also tied to a chair stares at Marco confused. "Uh...Marco? You do realize their shinning/shutting off a normal light on you?"

I KNOW! BUT IT'S REALLY ANNOYING! Dipper had no idea how to respond to that...

 **(FF)**

-"See? With my system, nothing ever gets lost. Nothing's ever out of place." Explained Marco to the twins as he showed them his creepily beyond-organized and clean room in the shack.

Dipper and Mabel just stand there in dull silence. "Wow...he makes you look cool." Admits Mabel to Dipper. YES! Exclaimed Dipper happily. Mabel gives him a weird look. "Uh...Dipper that wasn't really a compliment- "I still consider it a victory." States Dipper smugly...

 **(FF)**

Dipper and Wendy were getting ready to jump Stan's car with a golf cart. "Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!" They chanted as they accelerated over the ramp-

 **SQUAK!**

-Right into the claws of a giant Gryphon. STAR! Screamed an irritated Wendy. SORRY! MY BAD! Shouts Star as she runs after them...

 **(FF)**

 **AH! Here we are! I now return you to your regularly scheduled Fanfiction...**

A giant frog jumps near the tent of telepathy and vomits out a naked white haired kid that is covered with various "You Suck" tattoos. Gideon screamed out in rage. What had started as a simple ambush on that Dipper kid for keeping his beloved Mabel away from him, had turned into a humiliation conga! And it was all that magic girl and freakishly tall girls fault!

MARK MY WORDS DIPPER PINES, WENDY COURDOROY, AND STAR BUTTERFLY! YOU'LL RUE THE DAY YOU CROSSED GIDEON GLEEFUL!

"Well, it looks like we've come at the right time then." Said a voice from behind him. Gideon turned around , and immediately jumped back in fright! Standing before him was a lizard man dressed in a business suite. Behind him were a dozen or so even freakier monsters.

"Good sir, we are but a poor band of monsters who have no evil overlord to call our own. Our last one having disappeared under 'mysterious circumstances'(like most evil overlords tend to do...But enough of that. I couldn't help but overhear you...any chance we could aid you on your quest for vengeance?" Asked Toffee smoothly.

Gideon simply looked at him uncomprehending for a moment...Then an evil smirk played across his face...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

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	4. Chapter 4

**Star V.S. The forces of gravity ch.4**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Dipper groaned...he'd been having the worst day! First the catastrophe with the elderly couple at the 'dusk 2 dawn'...then the rabid nuns...then the flying balls of fire...Oh! And of course having to dress up as a lamb and sing the lamby song **and** Disco girl in front of the whole town to save Wendy from a giant didgeridoo!

He was the laughingstock of the town! Wendy, Star, And his family took him to Greasy's diner to cheer him up...But he was still laughed at by everyone else on the way there...

And just when it looked like things couldn't get worse for Dipper...They didn't...In fact, it actually got better for him!...And it was all thanks to Star-

-"I don't get why everyone is making fun of you about that. I mean Marco's ringtone is way worse then the song Dipper sang!" States Star as she snatches up Marco's phone.

-"Wait, no. Star Don't!" Shouted Marco desperately. But he was too late-

 **Space Unicorn. Soaring through the stars!**

For awhile...No one spoke...Then-

 **HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!**

Everyone(including Dipper and excluding Star) Burst out laughing. "Oh man...She was right! That is worse!" Admitted Stan. Marco blushed. "It's supposed to be ironic!" He insists. They just keep laughing. Marco goes more scarlet. "I do plenty of manly stuff to balance that out! Watch!" He shouts as he walks toward the 'Manliness tester'. He grunts and moans trying to move it...But nothing happens...It doesn't even move up to wimp!

"Oh, what?" Snarks Marco. "This thing must be broken. It's totally broken, guys. It's like a million years old, probably ran out of steam power or-

Dipper then walks over to try it...and manages to move it up to wimp. He then receives the ' _You are a cutie patootie!'_ card _._

Dipper smirks at him triumphantly. Marco glares. "Oh, it is on!" He and Dipper go into fighting positions-

 **...2 ½ seconds later...**

A brutally beaten Marco groans. "Did Dipper...just win?" Asked Mabel in disbelief. "Yeah...wow, this is just sad." Admits Stan. "Woo-Hoo!" Shouts Dipper. "I'm no longer the wimpiest guy around!" "Just the second most wimpiest." Points out Stan. "I still consider this a victory." Said Dipper smugly.

A concerned Star tends to Marco. She turns to Wendy. "Cousin could you please tell your boyfriend to stop hurting Marco?" Wendy blushed. "What? No, Star. Dippers not-

 **BOOM!**

Suddenly a giant bear with numerous heads crashed into the room. "Daughter of Lara! Daughter of Moon!" He says to both girls respectively. "I can no longer be silent! The Manitours brutal treatment of friend Dan must stop!"

It is to Wendy's horror that she learns that Manitours love to pick on their inferior Mini-toaur cousins...Which meant her dad! He never told her about it because he didn't want her to worry, he also forbid the multi-bear to say anything about it. But apparently the manitours are now going to take turns breaking all the bones in his body!

Wendy paled in horror. Suddenly Dipper was by her side. "Don't worry Wendy, I'll save him!" Shouts Dipper still very drunk with adrenaline and confidence from his recent 'triumph'. He then runs out the door.

"Not if I save him first!" Shouts an indignant Marco, desperate to regain some form of dignity. He also runs off.

There was a long, awkward pause... "Do they know where to go?" Asked the Bear. "Nope." said Wendy.

…...

As it turns out Wendy was wrong...Somehow the boys did know where to go. When they found them. They found Wendy's dad fine, all the Manitours brutally beaten up, the forest devastated...And Marco and Dipper wearing nothing but loincloths while they yelled at each other?

"I beat up more! No, I beat up more!" They shout at each other. "Guys! Enough! Also...what are you wearing?" Asked a flustered Wendy alongside an equally flustered Star. The boys looked down at themselves. "I...Don't remember putting these on." Stated Dipper confused. "Me either." Said an equally confused Marco.

It was at that point that the 'loincloths' decided to fall off them and crawl away. GAH! Cried out the guys grossed out...and then they remembered they were now naked in front of the girls.

Wendy was flustered...and trying very hard to not laugh. Star...was horrified!

 **DIE EVIL CUCUMBER PARASITES!**

She screamed as shot two very powerful bursts of magic...right into both boys genitals.

 **GAH!**

They screamed as they keeled over in agony!

Wendy quickly stopped Star from making a second attack- STAR! Calm down! They're not parasites! They're the boys wangs!

Star frowned. "Those are guy 'parts'?...But their both so tiny, disgusting, unimpressive, useless-looking and-

 **WE CAN STILL HEAR YOU!**

Screamed both boys from the ground. Star flusters. "Oh, sorry...Wait, why's Dipper's thing bigger than Marco's? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"Wait, what!?" Exclaimed Marco horrified. "Alright! I'm no longer the smallest on earth!" Exclaims Dipper happily. "That still only leaves you at second!" Snaps Marco. Dipper smirks. "jealous?" He asks smugly. Marco sighs. "Yes." He admits in defeat.

During all this the girls are desperately trying not to laugh...and think of a way to make this up to them...hopefully...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

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	5. Chapter 5

**Star V.S. The forces of gravity ch.5**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Wendy hadn't known what to expect when Star convinced her Ex-boyfriend Tom to invite both of them to the blood moon ball...But it had'nt been this-

-"Aloof, attractive people! Boring! Bubbling cauldrons that don't even melt your flesh off. What is it, nap time or something? Because I'm bored! Piece of garbage that doesn't destroy the universe! Stupid cockroach that lives inside! I'm over it already!" The demon screams and runs away.

The other demon smiles. "You want to dance?" He asks the girls. Suddenly Tom pops out of nowhere. " Her dance card's full."

The demon looks at him knowingly. "Oh, I get it. I bet you think that, like, your soul and, like, her soul are totally gonna... [interlocks his fingers] ...mmmmmm!"

"Wait, what is... [interlocks her fingers] ..."mmmmmm"?" Asked Wendy.

Suddenly, the ball organizer taps the microphone. "Ahem. Ladies and Gentleman. Ordinarily, this is when the light of the blood moon drubbles down and selects two lucky souls, binding them together for eternity in its hypnotic, ruby brodum...Unfortunately, there seems to be some 'technical difficulties'-

"Binded for eternity!? Exclaimed Wendy "Technical difficulties!?" Exclaimed an irritated Tom, before he vanishes to the astronomers room. "What's the hold up!?" He demanded. The astronomer frowned. "I don't rightfully know...it's aligned...but it's not sending it's light down...these fluctuations...it's almost as if it were confused...

Wendy did not like this! This was getting fishier by the minute! She turned to Star to insist that they leave...only to find that she'd wandered off...again.

Wendy groaned and ran after her-

 **SMACK!**

Only to run head first into a familiar person. "Dipper!? What are you doing here?" Dipper sighed. Marco was worried about Star and I encouraged him...Because I REALLY wanted to see another dimension." He admitted sheepishly.

Wendy groaned. "Fine, whatever! It's actually good you came! We need to get Star out of here!" She Grabs Dippers arm to help him up-

 **FLASH!**

Everyone gasped in surprise. This was unprecedented! The blood moon had chosen not one...But two couples!

Compelled by forces neither understood; Dipper and Wendy found themselves dancing...they gazed into each others eyes...and suddenly they forget everything...Star, Marco, The Blood Moon Ball, life, the universe, everything...it all just faded away...there was only each other...and the dance.

Slowly...the two of them leaned together...their eyes closing...their lips puckered-

 **ROAR!**

Which of course was Tom's que to attack Marco. It was a flustered Wendy and Dipper that snapped out of their hypnotic trance and ran to save Marco-

…...

" _You're_ infuriating!" Shouted Star as she throws her shoe's at Marco. Marco dodged them surprised.

"Me? I was just trying to help- "You don't trust me to do things by myself!" Interrupts Star. "I'm 14. I can handle a demon!" She sighs as she slumps against the wall depressed.

"I know you're trying to look out for me, but you have to let me figure things out on my own. I don't need a hero. I need a _friend_."

Marco feels guilty. He takes off his mask and slumps beside her. "You're right. I should've trusted you. I'm sorry I ruined your night." He said with a sigh.

Star smiles. "Well... it wasn't a total disaster." She snatches Marcos sombrero and puts it on herself. "Now I know you can dance." At this point Marco's hair springs out.

They laugh at this. "Hat hair!...Whoa! We both said—! ...The same thing! ...Okay, stop that!"

They both gasp in fright and jump away from each other, Star points her wand at Marco scared...

They then burst out laughing. "Well, that was new." Said Star. "Yeah, weird." Agreed Marco.

"Now go make me some nachos!" Shouted Star suddenly. "...Okay." Said Marco in a resigned way.

Wendy and Dipper just shook their head at the whole scene. "Man, those guys have issues." They say simultaneously. They then look at each other deathly pale...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

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	6. Chapter 6

**Star V.S. The forces of gravity ch.6**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

 **AN: One quick thing: in this AU, Wendy has no siblings...it'll be clear why in the next couple of chapters or so.**

…...

Manly Dan whistled as he stocked up the isolation room. Despite the...memories Star stirred up, her timing coming here was actually very good. It would make explaining to Wendy why she needed to be locked up easier-

Dan frowned as he looked at the calender. _Wait...is it a leap year?_ Stan cautiously did some quick math in his head. His eyes widen. "Uh, oh."

…...

"Mewberty!?" Exclaims both boys at once as they listen to Dan over the phone. Both Marco and Dipper were at the ticket booth for the Mystery Shack party. Both boys had been hoping to spend time with the girls here...but they started to act weird and wandered off...then a minute ago...well, they weren't sure what was happening in the ballroom...but things had suddenly gotten very dark...and very quiet.

Manly Dan groans. "It's my fault! I misread the calender! I thought we had more time- Look, never mind. Don't go confusing this with your namby-pamby 'puberty' boys...things are going to get weird."

The boys look at each other concerned. "When you say things are going to get weird, do you mean typical-Star weird or, like, destroy-the-shack weird?"

There's a long pause on the other side of the phone. "If it was just Star I'd say the later...but with Wendy in the mix...It's more like destroy-the- **TOWN** weird **."**

"Wait, what!?" Shouted the boys. "How would it be worse with Wendy?! Their both Mewman's right?" Demanded Dipper.

Dan sighed. "Well...yes and no." Dan then explains that when the Mewmans first came to Mewni...they split into two sub-specise. The Butterflies...and the Wasps! While the Butterflies colonized the planet, the Wasps stayed above it and built large industrial, flying cities. While the average Wasps magical capacity was practically non-existent compared to the Butterflies...they made up for it by being stronger, smarter, and better fighters. Their Mewberty was also a lot more nasty.

"As you can probably guess...Wendy is a Wasp." Explained Dan. "Wait I thought she and Star were cousins!" Exclaimed a confused Marco. "Yeah, and why didn't the Wasps go colonize Mewni with the Butterflies? Wouldn't that have been easier?" Asked a curious Dipper.

Dan groaned. "Look, we don't have time for this! With Butterfly Mewberty we'd only have to worry about all the boys getting raped! But Wasp Mewberty...She'll rape all the boys AND kill all the girls! 'Get ride of the competition and all that!'"

The boys paled...but nodded. "How do we save them?" They both said firmly. Dan smiled at their conviction. "Well boys...I have a plan...And depending on how you look at it; this'll either be the best night of your life...or the worst.

…...

The patrons of the party shuddered in fright. This freaky butterfly girl was harvesting all the boys and wrapping them in cocoons-

 **SMACK!**

Still, she didn't hold a candle to the other one! The giant, monstrous wasp-thing struck the butterfly-girl across the face. Recognizing the Wasp as the rightful alpha, she capitulated.

 **19 20 15 16 13 5 19 19 9 14 7 1 18 15 21 14 4 23 9 20 8 20 8 5 19 5 15 1 13 1 12 5 19! 9 19 13 5 12 12 1 12 16 8 19!**

Shouted the wasp cryptically. The butterfly nodded and saluted. "Hey over here! Fresh meat on the barbie!" The two creature's turned around and their eye's widened...and they licked their lips.

Marco and Dipper were both terrified, determined to save the town and the girls they loved...and naked.

Dan had explained that Mewberty was like a runaway flaming garbage truck; you can either let it destroy everything you love...or throw something in front of it to stop it...guess who they were in this analogy?

 **GAH!**

Screamed Marco as he was grabbed by the butterfly, and flew them both out a nearby window.

Dipper was grabbed thrown to the ground. The Wasp smiled in anticipation as it extended it's stinger...right toward Dippers rear. _Oh, this isn't going to end well for me..._

And so it came to pass that the horrified party patrons were forced to watch as a 12-year old boy was butt f***** non-stop...until the morning...

…...

When the dawn came a naked Marco crawled out of ditch...followed by an equally naked Star.

"Well...that happened." Said a flustered Marco simply. An equally flustered Star nodded. "I'm sorry about all that...it was a horrible, demeaning, painful, terrifying mistake."

Marco nodded. "Yes...yes it was." There was a long...awkward pause. "Is it weird that I want to do it again?" He asked.

"Yes, but I'm in no place to judge since I feel the same way." Admitted Star sheepishly as they crawled back into the ditch...

…...

"I am so, sorry Dipper!" Shouted a tearful Wendy as The pines family put bags of ice on top of Dipper's rear end. Glossaryck chuckled. "I don't know why your feeling so guilty. Dipper didn't seem to mind it all that badly...in fact, did I detect yelps of pleasure?"

WOULD SOMEONE SHUT THIS GUY UP! Shouted a flustered and exhausted Dipper...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: just so it's clear; the line of numbers is a code.**

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	7. Chapter 7

**Star V.S. The forces of gravity ch.7**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Pacifica laughed. It hadn't been a great week for her. First, she was nearly eaten at that fiasco of a dance party. Then, Pioneer day was upstaged by that stupid Mewnipendance Day celebration!

The only people who showed up to see her were creeps like Toby Determined or weirdos like Mabel...who she then ripped to shreds.

She smirked as Mabel ran in tears- Oh, look here comes her enraged brother! After watching him 'take it' all night long she had plenty of ammunition to tear into him! And here he comes all enraged, shouting...and green?

 **BLORP!**

… **...**

"I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big-

WILL YOU SHUT THE $%^%$ #$ UP YOU WHINEY PIECE OF BLOOD!? Screamed a ticked off Dipper as he struck Mabel across the face.

Mabel looked at him horrified. "Dipper what-

Suddenly Dipper was hugging her and crying!

"I'm(SOB) sorry(SOB) Mabel!(SOB) I(SOB) didn't(SOB) mean(SOB) it!(SOB) Your(SOB) the(SOB) most(SOB) important(SOB) person(SOB) in(SOB) the world!(SOB) WITHOUT YOU I'D KILL MYSELF!" Screamed a now very depressed Dipper.

Mabel looked at her brother in horrified confusion. "Uh...it's okay?" Stated Mabel unsure.

YOUR RIGHT! Exclaimed a now very peppy Dipper. THERE'S NO TIME TO CRY! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY! WITH BEAUTIFUL SKIES! BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS! BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! BEAUTIFUL COW MANURE ON MY SHOE! IT'S ALL SO WONDERFUL! I MUST SHARE MY JOY IN SONG!

 _Okay, now I'm scared._ Thought a creeped out Mabel...

…...

-"Back in the olden days, pioneers drew subsistence from telling stories 'round the fire. So let's eat some books, children! Go ahead, eat the books!" Exclaims old Man Mcgucket.

"I'm with you Mcgucket! This tastes awesome!" Shouts Dipper as he eagerly eats books...while Mabel watches in horror...

…...

Durland passes out and falls flat on his face. Blubs turns to the kids. "He got hit with quite a few of those-

 **BLORP!**

Mabel watched in horror as Dipper vomited a large amount of smelly black liquid that slams into Blubs like a tidal wave. He's slammed against the wall, suddenly it hardens; trapping him there.

Mabel grabs Dipper. "Okay, that's it! I'm aborting this adventure! Were going home right now!" She shouts as she drags a still very queasy Dipper away...

…...

Wendy laughs as she shoots several dozen more stingers out of her fists. "Awesome!" Shouts Wendy. Star glares. "No fair! How come Mewberty gave you needles you can shoot from your fists, but it stuck me with these useless little wings!" She snaps annoyed.

Dan smiled. "Sorry sweetie, but that's mainly a result of Wasps messing with their genome over the centuries. You probably have other little 'surprises' just waiting to emerge

It was at that point that Mabel dragged a still very queasy Dipper through the room. "Hey Dipper, you okay?" Asked a concerned Wendy. Dipper sighed. "Well, I've been- **BLORP!** -better." Finished Dipper.

Dan looked at the black mess exstatic. "HALLELUJAH! I'm going to be a grandad!"

 **WAIT, WHAT!?**

Screamed everyone else...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

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	8. Chapter 8

**Star V.S. The forces of gravity ch.8**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

...ONE WEEK LATER...

-"Hey, Wendy?...I'm still cute right?" Asked a bloated, 600 pound Dipper as he was dragged across the fairgrounds in a little, red wagon.

"Of course Dipper. Your cute, silky, and manageable." "Your reading that off a bottle of conditioner!" Accused an irritated Dipper.

Wendy flustered. "Eh...well...yes...but it doesn't make what I said less valid!" She said lamely.

This was but one of the many challenges Wendy had faced on one of the worst weeks of her life.

…...

 _Wendy was driving Dipper around the forest when-_ " _Wendy,_ _sweetie. I need some strawberries." Says Dipper in between vomiting._

 _Wendy nods. "Okay, I bet they sell them at the gas station." Dipper glared at her. "Wendy, I need some strawberries.  
Right now!" He demanded irritably before vomiting again._

 _Wendy became very uncomfortable. "Uh, were in the middle of the forest." She pointed out awkwardly._

 _ **SMACK!**_

" _I need strawberries!" Screamed Dipper. "Take my wife please!" Screamed a panicked Wendy. Her eyes widened over the realization of what she just said. "Wow, this is bittersweet." She says just before Dipper smacks her again._

…...

 _This is what guys have to go through every time they get a girl knocked up? How has our species not died out yet?!"_ Thinks Wendy for the umpteenth time. As she for the umpteenth time fights the urge to strangle the guy who bears her child.

"Whoa! You really let yourself go, tubby!" Wendy turns around and sees Robbie mocking Dipper-

 **CRACK!**

Wendy knocked his lights out...but the damage was already done. Dipper was in tears! Wendy frantically tried to calm him down. "No, no! Come on buddy! Don't cry!"

She frantically looks around for something to calm him down. She spots a ball toss game, that had a high-powered microscope for a prize. "How about that microscope!? You like, science stuff. Right?" She asked desperately.

Dipper didn't stop crying...but he did nod. Wendy smiled. Quickly payed for a ball, threw it-

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

-Only for it to ricochet and give Dipper the mother of all black-eyes! _Wow, I really got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!_ Thinks Wendy to herself as she tries to comfort a now hysterical Dipper.

Star, watching from nearby. Just shakes her head. "Wow, this is just so messed up." She says out loud as she spins a weird ball on her finger-

 **ZAP!**

She looks behind her to see a weird guy pop out of thin air. "Blendin Blandin and his trusty time tape measure is at the site and awaiting further orders!" He says into his wrist watch.

Star frowns and looks toward her cousin as she fruitlessly tried to calm down Dipper, who now had that painful blemish. Star smirked. _I know just what to do..._

 **...One hour, accidental sinking of the Titanic, destruction of the Hindenburg, and Black Plague latter...**

 **ZAP!**

"Wow, that could not have backfired more horribly!" Stated a horrified Star. Wendy just shook her head. "Never mind that! When are we now?"

They looked around...they were on a rooftop and-

"Oh! Were on Mewni!" Exclaimed Star. Something else catches her eye. "Hey! That's my mom! And...wait, isn't that your mom too?"

Wendy frowns and looks down on the alley below...and she saw her mom!

 **STAB!**

-Just as Star's Mom stabs her!

Both girls just gape in horror...

 **...One quick, awkwardly silent trip back to the present later...**

 **SLAM!**

Dan found himself pinned to the ground by the two pissed girls. "TALK. NOW." Stated Wendy darkly...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

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	9. Chapter 9

**Star V.S. The forces of gravity ch.9**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

As Star, Wendy and their friends entered Mewni...they had a lot to think about on their way to the castle.

Dan had told them a lot: He revealed what they'd begun to suspect on Mewnipendence day; that the monsters had been the rightful owners of Mewni...and the Butterflies had driven them out...forcing them to live in squalor as second class citizens...

The Wasps had wanted no part of it!...Not because they felt it was wrong however...but out of pride for their pragmatism and self-efficiency. They preferred resources they built with their own two hands to resources they had to fight a long, costly war for...Wendy still didn't know how to feel about that.

But she did know how to feel when Dan told her about how her mom lead a great civil rights movement for the monsters! She felt proud!

Dan went on to explain how her movement had eventually led to the monsters reclaiming half of Mewni...this caused great problems and shame for the Butterfly royal family...Stars grandmother even suppressed all information about Laura, her movement or about losing half of Mewni! As far as Star(and the rest of the younger generation) had known...everything on the other side of the wall that divided Mewni was devastated by a plague!

…...

" _I...Is that why my mom killed her?" Asked a tearful Star while Marco tried to comfort her._

" _And would you please explain how the whole 'wasp' and 'butterfly' thing works with us being cousins!?" Exclaimed Wendy._

 _Dan sighed. "I'll explain all that if you want...But I really think it would be better if you let Moon explain this."_

…...

And so here they were in Mewni...It was a medieval dump!...Evidently this was caused by the scandal of the many 'revelations' Laura revealed in her campaign(mostly the whole Sororicide thing though). It caused a large portion of the inter-dimensional community to blacklist the Butterflies when it came to trade and commerce. The Butterflies also had to give an obscenely large amount of resources and money to the Wasps for compensation for killing their Princess-

 **GAH!**

The group was broken from their thoughts as Dipper(still being dragged in the wagon) went through another growth/weight spurt. Wendy winched at that. Needless to say a boy of Dippers age and size didn't become 600+ pounds overnight...at least not without excruciating agony. Each day the 'wasp incubation process' seemed to force his body to get larger and larger...it was a miracle he hadn't died from the pain alone!

This was the reason why Wendy went along with Dippers tantrums...that and the fact that their child was 'somehow' going to be born from Dippers pee-hole! _I could have lived my whole life without knowing that...especially the fact that my DAD gave birth to me that way._ Thought Wendy with a shudder.

Which was why she was trying to make his life as happy as she could before 'that'...Which let's be honest was not going to be pleasant...especially considering when Wendy started giving him baths(don't ask)...She noticed that the 'incubation process' appeared to be making his wang even more ridiculously small than it already was...

After several hours of his family trying to help him get through his agony...it stopped...The good news is that Dipper apparently wasn't going to get fatter...The bad news was that he was instead apparently getting giant, festering, ozzing boils now...Oh, and his hair was starting to fall out.

Everyone could only look at this in horror. Mabel glares at Wendy. "For the record, I blame you for this." She stated irritably. Wendy sighs. "I know." She says with resignation. "He doesn't deserve this!" Exclaimed Mabel. "I know." "After this nightmare is over; you better indulge each and everyone of his sexual fantasies!"

It was at that moment Dipper vomited blood and teeth all over himself...also a part of his tongue...

Wendy nodded. "Sounds fair"...

…...

King River was outside the castle examining his clubs, when he saw his daughter approaching.

"Star!?" He exclaimed surprised. "What are you doing here? You know your not allowed to-

His eyes widened when he saw who she was with. "Laura!? Is that you!?" He exclaimed in shock.

Wendy shook her head. "I'm her daughter, Wendy." River's eye's widened...then sad understanding came to them.

"I see...I suppose your here to talk to my wife?" He asked forlornly. Wendy nodded. River sighed. "I'll just go get her then." He said depressed.

Then his eye's widened in horror. MONSTER! He screamed as he rushed forward to slay it-

"Not a monster. My son-in-law. He's going through the 'wasp incubation process'." Stated Dan as he softly backhand Rivers leap.

The kings eye widen. "Oh, well congratulations!" Says River as he shakes Dan's hands. He then turns to Dipper sadly. "And boy, you have my deepest condolences." He said sincerely.

"WHY WON'T SOMEONE KILL ME!?" Screamed Dipper hysterically...

…...

Queen Moon was making sure her blush sticker diamonds were still functioning properly. When her husband entered the throne room, followed by their daughter.

Her first instinct was to yell at her for disobeying- But this thought left her completely when she saw the next person.

 _Laura!?_ Thinks the queen to herself, before sank in. It couldn't be Laura! She was dead! Which means this had to be...her daughter... Moon felt her heart sank. _Well, the next hour is going to be a real 'hoot'._ She thinks sardonically to herself.

She turns to Wendy. "I'll just get right to it...how much do you know already?" Wendy glared at her. "I know that you killed my mom." She said flatly.

"It's a mistake! Please tell us it's a mistake mom!" Pleaded Star. Moon just looked at her daughter..."I'm sorry my dear"...

Star couldn't believe what she was hearing...she burst into tears, and hugged Marco and that weird ball for comfort.

Wendy glared. "Why?" Moon sighed. "It be best if I started at the beginning...no doubt you've wondered about the-

-"How were cousins yet from two different sub-species? -Oh, no never crossed our minds." Said Wendy sarcastically.

Moon nodded. "Right, then. The truth is that me and your mom were actually half-sister's-

"Wait, I thought grandad only married once!" Interrupted a confused Star. Moon rested her weary head on her hand. "Yes, my mother was the one woman he was **married** to.

Wendy's eyes widened. "Ooooooh." She said with horrified comprehension. "What? What 'oh'? What's going on?" Asked Star confused. Marco then leaned over an whispered an explanation. "Oooooh" She said in turn.

Moon took this as a cue to continue. "Star's grandfather...he was a good but Ambitious king. He wished to put an end to the ever-increasing rift between Wasp and Butterfly cultures...as well as gain access to Wasp tech to bring Mewni into...Well, at least the 19th century."

"So he made a very lucrative treaty with them...One aspect of it was that he had to accept one of their high-ranking nobility as a mistress...and produce one heir."

She sighed. "In his defense it was a very successful accomplishment...It brought prosperity and happiness to everywhere on Mewni and the Wasps floating cities...well, everywhere except his own household ironically"...

A look of anger came across her face. "To say that my mother (Katherine Marlowe Butterfly), hated your grandmother (Amelia Croft Wasp)...was a severe understatement...And things only got worse between them in time"...

"And let me guess, they pitted the two of you against each other." Asked Wendy.

Moon frowned. "Surprisingly...no. Your grandmother was no saint(quite the opposite)...but she never stooped so low to use her daughter as a pawn." Moon sighed. "Like my mother tried to do to me."

Then she chuckled. "But despite my mothers attempts...I could not hate Laura, how could I? She was a wonderful person...

…...

 _A young Moon sat at the table properly while sipping tea with her pinkie extended-_

 _ **CRASH!**_

 _Moon looked down at her half-sister who had just slid off the banister and smashed down on the table, flattening it. They were now drenched in food stuff...they looked at each other...and laughed._

… _..._

 _Moon was in tears. Once more her mother had screamed and berated her for not being as good as that 'harlots tramp of a daughter'(i.e. Laura). She did her best! Why couldn't she see she only wanted her to be proud of her!? Why-_

 _ **SPLAT!**_

 _Moon looked up and was surprised to see Laura wearing a mustache...and being swallowed by a see-through fish?_

 _The sight was so comical that they both couldn't help but crack up!_

… _..._

" _Come on! Ask him out!" Insisted Laura. Moon flustered. "He's my bodyguard...it wouldn't be proper!"_

 _Laura nodded. "Your right, of course. Let's just forget it and- Hey, River! Want to be Moon's date to the dance!?" Said Laura suddenly as he came by._

 _Moon went scarlet! She was about to rage at her-_

" _Sure, sounds wonderful." Said River simply as he kept walking._

 _That completely took the wind from her sails! Quickly, she tried to regain her composure._

" _I knew he'd say yes." She lied lamely..._

… _..._

 _Wow...my Mom was like a more mature version of Star._ Thought Wendy to herself thoughtfully. "My aunt sounds awesome!" Shouts Star.

Moon nodded. "Indeed she was...she was a better person...and leader than I'll hope to be"...

She then tells them about how on her 14th birthday...the wand rejected her and choose Laura instead!

For the sake of stability and keeping the peace(but mostly because Laura knew that this meant far more to Moon than her). She relinquished her claim on the wand and throne...but the wand refused to work for her...

After that Moon's mother more or less washed her hands of Moon, refusing to even acknowledge her existence! Between Laura winning the hearts and minds of Mewmans, monsters, and outsiders alike for her civil rights movement, and Moon's inability to use the wand...many began to question Moon's ability to lead properly...

…...

" _Alright daughter, you have a chance to earn redemption for your numerous failures." Said Katherine darkly._

" _That tramp is making fools of us! The wasps refuse to reign her in, your father is useless...that just leaves you. So I want you to lure her down here and kill her."_

 _She looks at her watch bored and begins to walk away. "Right, and be quick about it! I want this nonsense done with before tea-_

" _No."_

 _Katherine stopped in her tracks, she turned around and glared. "What did you just say?" She demanded._

 _Moon glared right back. "I said, no." Before she could lose her nerve, she left the room...and her seething mother..._

… _..._

Moon smiled at that memory. "You have no idea how good it felt to finally tell that hag off!...I'd seen Laura flip her off so many times...I was so envious that I never had the guts to do it!"

She sighed..."Which makes what happened next all the more tragic"...

She then explains how shortly after that, Star was born. What should have been the happiest day of her life...became the worst...

…...

" _What do you mean she's dying!?" Demanded Moon._

 _The nurse grew increasingly uncomfortable. "There's no easy way to say this...but your daughter has been poisoned by a very rare toxin-_

" _Poisoned!? Who would dare?!"_

" _Who do you think?"_

 _Moon turned around and saw the sneering face of her mother!_

… _..._

"Well...I think you can all guess what happened next." Said Moon to her stunned audience.

"Y...you killed Wendy's mom...to save me?" Asked a tearful Star.

Moon nodded. "To be honest...I'm glad I didn't get away with it! Somehow a video of me killing her got leaked...Laura became a martyr...and the civil war that would rip our planet apart had begun...

Moon groaned. Katherine put up all those censorship laws...after I deposed her...I know I should have repealed them...But I was just so ashamed...I just wanted to pretend the whole thing never happened! That I never stabbed my best friend in the back!" Moon was in tears now, River desperately tried to comfort her...

"Stabbed her, yes. But in the back? I think not." Everyone turned around... "Amelia"?! Exclaimed Moon surprised.

What appeared to be an elder version of Wendy nodded. "Dan called me...I think it's time you know the truth...

…...

And so Amelia explained that thanks to her contacts, Laura knew what was happening...but died anyway so Moon could cure Star...

This was too much for Moon to process...without a word she excused herself...

Amelia introduced herself to Wendy. Explaining that due to a personal matter; her mother had insisted that Wendy not be told about her wasp heritage or be allowed to do anything with it until she was 18-

But given the circumstances, I hope you won't mind that I bent the promise a bit." Wendy, still amazed at this revelation...was almost speechless.

"What? Oh, no that's fine. I have like a hundred questions...first off what is the deal with this?" She points out Dipper.

"Oh, my! Someone's been 'busy" Amelia teased much to Wendy's embarrassment...but then Amelia explains some things.

Due to their matriarical society, they insisted males deliver children...another thing was that the 'incubation process' re-purposed almost the whole body to care for the child.

She also told them that because of this, they always fully payed to rehabilitate the males afterwords(especially if he has grade-A genetics).

She also explains that most Wasps were born within a single day...the longer the Wasp stayed inside...The more powerful the child became. The current record was held by Dan when Wendy was born after 3 days.

The group was filled with wonder...Dipper had been pregnant for over a week! It was a new record! And it didn't look like the kid was coming soon!...

…...

Amelia smiled as the kids talked through what they now know. _Yes, rest easy for now children...I have big plans for you soon._

She then thinks once more about that Intel she'd received about that monster she 'leaked' that footage of Laura getting stabbed to all those years ago... _After all these years...why resurface now Toffee?_

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **The Keeper of Worlds gave me the 'growth/weight' spurt idea.**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	10. ANNOUNCEMENT!

**ATTENTION!**

"To All who read this...I'm going on HIATUS!

"I know, I know. I hate it when Authors do this too.

"But I plan on being a REAL writer; and I need to focus on that.

 **FIRE SALE!**

 **EVERYTHING MUST GO!**

"If you want to adopt my story to continue it; go ahead!

"If more then one person wants to adopt the same story; go ahead!(this includes the one's already labeled 'adopted')

 **NEW YEAR!**

"Let me be clear; this Hiatus(if I don't become an Author) will only last a year...I really do want to finish my fanfic stories(But if you don't want to wait, feel free to adopt)

 **EXCEPTIONS**

"I intend to finish the last chapter of my Christian themed story 'What we gonna do'; I might also occasionally post some Christian Song-fic's.

"From Now on if the conversation thread isn't labeled 'Adopt' or 'Review Glitch'(My computer still won't let new reviews through, I need help!)"I'm going to have to ignore it(sorry)

 **COMMITMENTS**

"Say what you will about me; I'm a man of my word.

"I've promised several Authors that I'd help them with their stories.

"Here they are: The Howling Behemoth, StoriesUnleashed, Brandon Vortex, SPIDERWILLIAM13, Animeshowlover, And...Shot...Okay I can't remember his/her name; but he/she adopted Tremor Falls...so you know who you are...I hope.

"Anyway; Because of my promise. I will still respond to messages from the guys/girls listed above

As for 'Zues Killer Productions'...(sigh)

"Okay, here's the thing...I promised to adopt his/her story...But right after that I remembered- "Dang it, I'm going on Hiatus in a couple months, what is wrong with me?"

"But poorly thought out and misremembered it may have been...for better or for worse I made a commitment and I'm going to stick with it.

"After all; why should he/she suffer because of my poor memory?(I'll still take messages from him/her as well)

"Let's be clear; I'm not going nuts on this...they'll be only one chapter every two weeks(at least)

 **"NAME CHANGE**

"In one week; I'm changing my User name(I wanted this name first...but I forgot it(sheepish smile))

"Say goodbye to "du911"...and hello to "The Cowardly Christian".

"Well...that's it...bye...


	11. HIATUS IS OVER!

**HELLO FAITHFUL READERS!**

As you know...New Years is here...which mean my year long hiatus from fanfiction will be over!

But here's the thing...this year I'm doing something different:

Although I'll be writing fanfiction again; it'll be more sporadic(I'm still giving priority to my REAL story). The stories I focus on will be sorta random...however. I'll be making challenge; to the people who participate in my 'Shake up the Falls' Story challenge.

Ex: If you were to to publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the falls' challenge before anyone else...I would let you pick the first three stories I would be continuing(if you wanted me to continue my 'Gamer of the Year' Story plus two others, I'd do that before anything else)

The details of my 'Shake up the Falls' story idea can be found on my profile.

P.S. Just to clarify; this is a CONTINUOUS arrangement, I'll be continuing stories in the order that a person finishes my challenge, this challenge won't stop after the first person dose it...it'll continue on after that...I'll also be publishing/updating an going on my own time table in the meantime

P.S.S. Reminder; all my stories are still up for adoption!(I'm not abandoning any...I'm simply giving you more options, if you think I'm going too slow). Multiple adoptions for a single story are still allowed!

Hope you had a merry Christmas...and that you have a Happy New Year!


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